SF Pillow Book (Female Writer Essay Series) Part 4

Translated by: Harley Acres

SF is Neither Mecha Nor Aliens. The Only Conclusion is That It Is About Beautiful Semi-Nude Ladies!
The Role of Science Fiction in Establishing One's Sense of Self

I have always been a coward. When I was a child, I was an oblivious person who loved ghost stories and had no fear of the dark. Why am I such a coward now? First of all, what am I afraid of? ^[1] A number of things come to mind. The winds of cowardice have something to do with the establishment of the ego.

I think I was late in establishing my sense of self-esteem. It wasn't until I entered high school that I finally began to awaken to my sense of self (you may wonder what this has to do with science fiction, but it has a lot to do with it. Or does it?). Pride aside, in other words, when I became a high school student, I finally began to process what I read, express my own ideas, and digest (or perhaps undigest) them and try to write something... like an imitation of a novel, in other words, I began to try to express myself explicitly. ^[2] Science fiction books help establish one's sense of self. That said, I don't read much from the genre, in fact, I've read so little that hardcore SF fans would be shocked if they heard how little. I haven't read any foreign SF material which can give you an idea of how little I know. Anyway, how great was the Japanese science fiction that I came into contact with in the process of establishing my sense of self? Most of the stories are about absurdities in everyday life, such as strange things in the alley, strange things in the closet, and unpleasant noises in the drawers, and the sense that all of us are victims comes to the fore. ^[3] People who are involved in everyday absurdities are not heroes with special abilities. They're just another face in the crowd. In other words, who is to say that I, or even you, will not face such abnormal situations? These novels penetrated my virgin mind (a mind that knew nothing at all) and naïve fifth and sixth sense organs (what kind of organs are they?), and thus my sensibility took the first step toward independence.

But I wasn't scared at first. Initially, I laughed and laughed. However, I became terrified soon enough. It was during my second year of high school. The theme of our school festival was "the occult" or "ESP" or "science fiction" and each class was divided into their own group. I think I was involved with these things. The reason why I "think" is that it was a long time ago, so I forgot if I was really participating or doing so informally as a friend of someone on the executive committee. Anyway, the main class gathered on the roof after school to do the example of the "ventra ventra space people" chant. ^[4] Nothing happened. But there was a bit of panic inside me (What if they really do come?) (I've no right to complain if they kidnap me and kill me.) (This is like making random phone calls to the homes of foreigners I don't know, and asking "who are you?" in Japanese.) (How unplanned this is.)(First of all, we haven't thought at all about what happens after we call the UFO.)(It's as if we've ordered delivery but don't plan to pay when they arrive with the food.)(Don't come, don't come. We won't be bad anymore.).

This is a rough sketch of what happened. I may be the one who was more frightened than the average high school girl, but there was no way a UFO would come even if I tried to summon it with such an impromptu performance. I also tried to summon a spirit, but my mental state followed almost the same process as that of the UFO, so I will skip over detailing that part.

Why was I so scared? I guess it was because it seemed so reckless to try to get involved with something I didn't understand. I'm not a superheroine. I don't have any ability to compete with space invaders with powerful scientific powers, or with spirits who are so entrenched in their grudges that they can't be redeemed. I am an ordinary person, I am a face in the crowd.

The ultimate fate of the crowd is tragic. When panic strikes, our role in the mob is to run around screaming and die en masse. Oh, no. Well, if the role is as easygoing as being surprised or waving to the lead character, being a member of the mob can be fun too.

I'd Really Like to Avoid the Sci-Fi Way of Dying.

The science fiction sensation that dominates me is, at its core... fear. It is the very primitive fear of being stung by a bee. Aliens in the night sky, spirits on the riverbanks, maniacal people lurking in the darkness of the earth. There are many scary things that come to mind. I remember thinking that when I was in high school if I saw a ghost in the morning, I thought I was out of the woods, and I wouldn't have to see it later at night. Of course if you see one at night there is hope that if you wait for the morning, the ghost will disappear. But if it's already morning, what should I wait for? Oh, that's scary.

I'll change the topic suddenly. When I look at my manga, I don't find them to be scary. ^[5] They're funny stories, but they blatantly hide my own petty and modest desires... I go for the funny turns of phrase, it's true, I can't help it. If I were a superhuman... If only I could speak so clearly. If only my body were as fit and smart as could be... All of these are the flip side of reality. That being said, it seems only natural that fear can turn into a gag. At least that's what I try to convince myself of. Anyway, everyone dreams of becoming a super hero. They'll never die no matter how dangerous the situation they find themselves in. A young man with a good face, good style, and cleverness, who is hailed as a friend of justice despite the destruction he leaves in his wake... it makes my eyes burn. Whatever the case may be, it comes down to one thing: "Don't die." No one wants to die. If you are a semi-lead character, you might at least think about dying in a cool way in the last and biggest drama of your life- death. Background characters are different. As a face in the crowd, I want to die comfortably. I want to die and go to paradise wrapped in a warm blanket. Maybe...maybe not...maybe the main characters and semi-lead sub-characters are thinking the same thing. But that's not the story.

Even at this point, I still don't really know what I'm trying to say. Sorry for the inconvenience, but please bear with me a little longer. I'm almost done.

In other words, where the fear of encountering UFOs, spirits, violent people, and yokai is concerned, it all boils down to "death". This is a certain fact, since the goal of life is death. "Death" comes to all things equally, and I interpret this as an everyday event. In the end, the question is whether the process leading up to death is natural or unnatural... In other words, I would like to avoid a sci-fi-like death. I've been writing somberly about death and dying for awhile now, but I hope you will forgive me because my current state of mind is muddled.

Anything You Don't Understand is Science Fiction.

It's about time I started writing about science fiction seriously. How is science fiction interpreted and structured in my mind? Simply put, anything that is difficult to understand is science fiction. So math, physics and English are my science fiction. I must be like an idiot in that regard, I think. But that's not saying much, so let's start from the visual side. Science fiction's not space. It's not mecha. It's not aliens. There is only one conclusion. Science fiction is a beautiful woman. Moreover, the girl must be semi-nude. ^[6] This beauty, who stands with her skin exposed in the wilderness of a desolate planet, is a truly absurd character that is difficult to understand in reality, but that is the real world, if she's not science fiction, then what is? This is the "love" part, which is twinned with my sense of "fear". My science fiction is a petty form of self-expression in which these two major cogs are quietly unfolding through my everyday life.

A little more about science fiction characters, these semi-nude heroines. ^[7] They are not everyday people. At least for a background character Earthling like me, they live a unique existence. After all, it would be strange if Vampirella were sipping tea while watching a sumo match on TV. ^[8] But when I do the same thing, it's as it should be. On the other hand, if I dressed up as Vampirella, all the aliens I encountered would look away, so I'm afraid. I envy beautiful women. And when these extraordinary women encounter absurdities in their own daily lives, they don't make a fuss, they overcome them on their own, or an extraordinary man comes to their rescue. What was the point I was trying to make, then? The only conclusion I can come to is that "beautiful women are nice and I envy them." However, beautiful women are nice whether they are science fiction or not. I'm jealous.

I know I'm not a heroine. My looks, my age, my abilities, my spirit, all of them say that I don't deserve to be a heroine and that I'm a dropout. That's why I can't become a science fiction heroine, nor do I want to. There is one thing I have planned. Suppose a tragic death befalls me, a member of the background mob, even if it's not science fiction, but in a state of worldwide panic. At the moment of death, I unify my thoughts and become the spirit behind my favorite type of survival. The faceless crowd would stick with a leading man with a handsome face, a good head, and a great sense of style, who would survive to the end, and spend their time watching his life in an amusing way. This is because I'm sure you'll be able to live a life full of ups and downs by reading a science fiction manga. Good luck Omega Man. Good luck to my soul.

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Footnotes

• [1] Beyond the scope of the article Takahashi has written here, her often cited biggest fear is "earthquakes" which has has addressed in some interviews and autobiographical manga such as her Diary of Kemo Kobiru.
• [2] Takahashi would mention this novel-type story she wrote years later in another interview.
• [3] Yasutaka Tsutsui (筒井康隆) is undoubtedly the science fiction writer Takahashi is alluding to, as she has often cited him as one of her biggest stylistic influences. He is a novelist perhaps best known to western audiences as the writer of Paprika which was turned into a film by Satoshi Kon. The Girl Who Lept Through Time (時をかける少女) is another well-known novel by Tsutsui.
• [4] "Ventra ventra space people" (ベントラベントラ・スペースピープル) is a chant that became popular in Japan that was thought to summon UFOs. It is used in Urusei Yatsura chapter 3 by Megane and his friends to try to summon Lum back to earth. It is thought to have originated from the UFO contactee George Van Tassel.
• [5] This is written in 1980 when Takahashi had not yet written any of the horror works that she will become known for, though it is clear that horror and the supernatural were already on her mind at this point. In a few short years she will publish When My Eyes Got Wings (which itself inspired Kazuhiro Fujita to become a mangaka), The Laughing Target and the Mermaid Saga which is one of her darkest and most violent series. Decades later Inuyasha would come along with horror/supernatural stories such as Empty Apartment and Came the Mirror.
• [6] Takahashi will cite Vampirella as one such example here in her essay, but of course her own creation, Lum, is who she is also implying as well. Her own mental thread from Vampirella to Lum is also underlined in Urusei Yatsura chapter 279 when Lum dresses as Vampirella.
• [7] These scantily clad science fiction heroines that Takahashi is referring to would be of the era of her youth. Characters such as bikini clad Julie Adams in The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Mari Blanchard's short skirts in Abbott and Costello go to Mars, Marguerite Chapman in Flight to Mars and later heroines such as Jane Fonda's iconic Barbarella.
• [8] This theme of blending the ordinary and extraordinary is further explored in this interview with Takahashi where comparisons are made to her work and Blade Runner and Star Wars.

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